March 15, 2006

That's the Way That It Begins

My period started on March 4.

March 4, in a strong tropical climate, the heat caressing and assuring, the sun bright and uplifting, saw the start. A bright red splodge lodged on the center of the toilet bowl proved that the uterus was working like clockwork, and as I got out the tampons that I call my bichon frises (they're huge. Picture a hamster, then picture plugging that into the zone, and you'll agree the size of them.) I knew that this date was a major date.

And so it starts.

When I finally got to GSM coverage in New Zealand I called my clinic. My clinic, a world away in Surrey, answered. I was giddy, tired, and feeling like my real life was so far away I could almost cut it with a knife. When I got my Egg Share Nurse, I smiled into the phone.

"Hi, it's Vanessa," I say into the phone. "My period started on March 4. It started Saturday, March 4. That's when it started."

I am nothing if not redundant.

"Excellent news, Vanessa," she said back. "Are you ready to start IVF this month then?"

Am I ready? Yes. No. Yes. Yes. I look back at the table inside the restaurant we are at, Aidan laughing with his two kids. My seat is empty as I'd come outside to make a call, my seat snug between his two kids. I look at his daughter, who I'd helped when she was air sick a few days before. I look at his son, laughing and joking with Aidan, who has a big smile on his face. I turn back to the road, and to the real world. "Yes. Yes, we're ready."

"Fantastic. I'll let the egg donee know that we're ready to go, and we'll get her started, too. We'll see you on the 21st then, when you and Aidan come in and get your protocol schedule?"

"Yes, ok." I reply.

We hang up, and I walk back inside the restaurant.

We have a start date, then. I start with the hormone supressors on the 25th of March, as it will be 21 days after Day 1 of my period. I have a start date.

We're finally here.

I am not sure I know how to express how fucking happy and how fucking scared I really am. The 25th of March. A circle on the calendar, and the beginning of a new world.

Please please please please please...

Posted by Vanessa at March 15, 2006 06:57 AM | TrackBack
Comments

The 25th! How incredibly exciting Vanessa....

I am so delightedly happy (and excited, did I mention excited?) for you.

Posted by: April at March 20, 2006 12:23 PM

I'm also a giant. I could step on you and just leave you in the tread of my shoe.

That said, I guess I could let you touch my stomach if I get knocked up, just give me warning so I could suck it in a bit.

Posted by: Vanessa at March 17, 2006 08:06 AM

I'm freakishly strong.

Posted by: statia at March 16, 2006 07:43 PM

Dude, I can totally take you...

Posted by: Vanessa at March 16, 2006 06:08 PM

Except for me. If you rabbit punch me, you're going to wake up in a pool full of glitter and me skipping around like the biggest fairy ever singing "baby dust".

Posted by: statia at March 16, 2006 05:15 PM

It's ok-I think Statia just needs to have a glass of wine and relax. That's what she needs to get pregnant. If only she'd listen to this competent advice.

And dude, if I do get pregnant and someone comes within a twelve inch radius of touching my stomach, they're going to get rabbit punched.

Posted by: Vanessa at March 16, 2006 05:51 AM

Fingers crossed for you, sweetheart.

Posted by: Lisa at March 16, 2006 04:27 AM

I couldn't help myself Ornery. I think of vanessa and I think of cute schmoopy things like belly rubs and baby dust.

I know she's going to kick my ass for that.

Posted by: statia at March 15, 2006 11:16 PM

God, I'm hoping so hard for you guys right now. You'll be in my thoughts this month.

Posted by: Polichick at March 15, 2006 10:44 PM

Hugs and positive baby filled thoughts!

oh, and crossed fingers. It can't hurt, right?

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 15, 2006 08:03 PM

I think Statia smattered enough babydust, so I will just say that I am thinking of you and "please, please, pleasing" right along side you.

So many infertile bitches gearing up for some action! It actually makes me feel a little giddy.

Posted by: Ornery at March 15, 2006 06:24 PM

I had been checking for an update to see your schedule. I am two days behind you, I start my synarel on March 27.
Just last weekend my 14yr old step daughter asked me (again) if we are going to have a baby someday. If only I had an answer for her.
I'll join you with the please please please please. It's one of those "I'll never ask for another thing as long as I live" kind of feelings.

Posted by: Jenny at March 15, 2006 05:40 PM

~*~*~BABY DUST~*~*~

whore.

Posted by: statia at March 15, 2006 04:54 PM

Honestly, you wouldn't be human if you weren't a combo of scared/excited. I'm so happy for you and I'll be sending you all the positive energy I can.

Posted by: Jadewolff at March 15, 2006 03:53 PM

March 25 is a great day! I should be starting my first invitro cycle on the 25th. How exciting. I completely understand all the emotions of excitement and fear and everything in betwee, too. Wow! Congrats & good luck!

Posted by: Mrs. T at March 15, 2006 02:22 PM

YEA!!!!! I am sending all the fertile thoughts I can muster your way!

Posted by: donna at March 15, 2006 01:49 PM

Good luck vanessa, I'm putting you on my hoping list.

Posted by: thalia at March 15, 2006 11:36 AM

I have the SAME dte...can you imagine. Big red circle around March 25th for me too!!! I am also extremely happy but at the same time shit scared for the unknown.....hrumpf...

Good luck to you!!!

Posted by: One Half at March 15, 2006 08:32 AM

I have the SAME date...can you imagine. Big red circle around March 25th for me too!!! I am also extremely happy but at the same time shit scared for the unknown.....hrumpf...

Good luck to you!!!

Posted by: One Half at March 15, 2006 08:32 AM

~hugs~

Posted by: Mia at March 15, 2006 07:38 AM